


Rooted

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Marauders' Era, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-11-04
Updated: 2005-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-19 12:35:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12410424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Short L/J drabble. A teenager's musings on the most elusive emotion of all: Love.





	Rooted

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

Rooted

 

My flower has sunk her roots into my blood. I can’t get away from her. Every time I see Red, I think of her hair — the hair that is such a trial to her as she pushes it yet again behind her ear, but which I just want to reach out and touch, fix for her, brush for her. When I see Green, I think of her eyes — those eyes that glare coldly, unblinkingly back at me when I provoke her.This time of the year is hard for me. The cacophony of greens and reds that surrounds me is unbearable; everywhere I look I am reminded of her, her utter hatred and scorn for me.

 

But the thing she doesn’t seem to understand is that making her love me is a lot harder than making her hate me — making people annoyed has been one of my hobbies since I was very young. And the most unbearable thing, beyond her hatred of me, beyond her glares, beyond her scorn and derision for me and everything I stand for…

 

I would die if she didn’t know my name. Potter is fine. I’m fine with being called Potter — well, sort of. I mean, I’d like for her to call me James, and it does hurt when she doesn’t…I tried getting the guys to call me Potter so it would become my name. If she couldn’t change the way she said my name, I’d change my name to the way she said it. That was, until they started calling me Pot-head instead.

 

My friends are odd…honestly, you can’t judge me by them. I mean, I’d die for Sirius, but really. He does get off in the strangest ways. His sense of humour has been tainted by years of living with his parents. Anyone’s would, I guess, but he’s living with me now, since the beginning of this year. I had hoped it would affect him. Maybe when he spends these Christmas holidays with my family.

 

And Peter…well. He has the same odd sense of humour as Sirius. I guess it’s that Sirius _does_ the funny things, and Peter _says_ the funny things. He’s generally quiet but every so often he’ll come out with a gem that'll have us all rolling on the floor for hours. And then there’s Remus. I guess we’d all do anything for him - out of empathy, sympathy, loyalty, or pity, we’re never sure. A weird mix of all, probably. 

 

My friends haven’t exactly been very helpful in all of this. They take amusement from my heart-break, and it’s quite disturbing. They want me to give up and leave the ‘poor girl’ alone. Excuse me, but who’s the one that’s ended up in the hospital wing more often than not? I’ve never put _her_ in the hospital wing. Well, except that one time…but that was definitely not my fault. Lily just _happened_ to step through the door that was meant for Snivellus.

 

The others were in on it too, but I was the one standing there…and I was the one that ended up in the hospital wing in a bed near Lily’s. 

 

Of course, I wasn’t exactly averse to sleeping that near to Lily….but I don’t think that she was quite as comfortable as I was. In fact, I think she thought I was going to jump her or something.

 

I’m not saying the thought hadn’t crossed my mind, but really, I’m better than that. I swear. 

 

Lily is so…I don’t know what it is about her that I love. I love her. I haven’t told anyone that; the guys’d laugh so hard there’d be a small earthquake. Lily…well, I’ve told…huh. I don’t think I’ve told her that. I mean, I’ve asked her to go out with me (I once tried to see how many times I could ask her before she hexed me. I got to four that time. My personal record is six.) but…maybe I should try that some time. Or, maybe not. She’d think I was joking. And hex me.

 

I love her. I can’t make her love me of her own accord. I could possibly try a love potion, but that wouldn’t exactly help after it wore off.

 

Her glares hurt. But at the same time…if she didn’t glare at me, if she saw right through me, if she didn’t know I existed…

 

That would kill me.


End file.
